Supposedly, this was written by Streeter Seidell from collegehumor.com. I don't approve of plagiarism, so I checked to see if this was true and I found the article here. However, Seidell published this on April 12, while Brandon published it on April 11. He might have played with the date. I don't know.
Whoever wrote it is fun. I love when people personify random crap and make little societies with them.